Enough

I feel like I am never doing enough. Whenever I’m just sitting around I feel guilty because I’m not doing anything productive. I’m not practicing enough, not doing as many tongue pumps as I should, not talking enough, not exercising enough, not emailing with the dean enough. I’m constantly anxious because I never feel like…

Phoenix 3.0

It has been awhile since I’ve done an update, so I feel like it’s time. Speech therapy is absolutely exhausting, but I really like my speech therapist and her assistant, who’s only a few years older than me. They almost seem like my friends, in a weird way? I know that may sound depressing, but…

Groundhog Day

I wake up in the morning with the same knowing dread of what my day will entail, and what will come out of my mouth. My mom wakes me up at around 11:30 with a green juice, a large coffee (with a metal straw because I can’t drink normally) and my pills, a daily ritual…

My Two Ugly Step(Cousins)

The word “ugly” can mean a multitude of different things. There are ugly haircuts, or perhaps an ugly eyesore, something that is unpleasant to look at, like a building. But the absolute worst kind of ugly is the kind that cannot be fixed by a pound of makeup or a million selfies, or slutty clothing….

What It Is Like To Live With An Invisible Illness

On the outside I look like a normal and healthy 22 year old. I wear makeup, I do my hair, and I dress like a regular young woman. By looking at me, you would never know that I am suffering, and secretly hoping that no one will talk to me. There are times in which…

My Escape From Azkaban

I remember a time not too long ago when all I could do was sit inside all day and watch countless shows and movies. I was totally bedridden and even walking down the stairs was a challenge. I went through movies and tv shows like no other because that was all that I was capable…

Dear Simone

Dear Simone, I remember us bonding over our fluffy white dogs and our shared passion for helping people. I remember you talking to me about your husband, and I asked you about your rubber wedding band- a trend that I noticed a lot of other nurses also follow. I remember you reading the cards that…

Believe Me

Take me seriously. Do not belittle me or laugh in my face. Listen to me, listen to my concerns, and to my symptoms. Think outside of the box and hear my plea for treatment. Listen to my mom, who knows me better than anyone else. Do not be dismissive just because you do not see…

A Rough Few Days

^^ Simon, aka the greatest therapy dog. He knows when I am hurting the most ^^ It’s late. Really late. Like 3 am late. I’m fed up and tired, in more ways than one. But more than anything, I am frustrated. I have been seeing some friends lately, a huge step for me considering the…

Sorry, Mom

The following video diary is from┬áMay 22nd and it is incredibly difficult for my mom to hear…. but, it is important. It is important because it is a marker and a reminder to myself of just how far I have come in two months, and how capable I am of continuing to improve. Month by…